All In Her Head
by SaikohBellaL
Summary: "'I am sane, aren't I' She asked herself. But if she was sane, why was she strapped to the bed in a mental institution?" They tell her she's insane, they tell her her entire life was all in her head. Tiva ensures!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: All things written in italics are flashbacks. **

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She felt herself wake from a heavy sleep, and reluctantly she opened her heavy eyes. There was a quiet murmur in her room around her; her doctor and her father had obviously failed to notice she had woken. Instead of struggling against the thick, heavy leather straps that were used to tie down her limbs - like she normally would - she closed her eyes and strained her ears; tuning into the conversation that was no doubt about her.

"Ziva's not ready to have the straps removed - you saw what happened last time." Her father told Doctor Hasari "She's dangerous, trust me, I trained her."

_The doctor removed one strap that bound Ziva's arm to the bed, it was the first time in a week she'd had control over her own body. First she relieved the itch on her nose, then grabbed the doctor's shirt by the collar, pulling him dangerously close, "Tell me the truth, what am I really doing here?" She said._

_"I'v told you before, Ziva, you just don't want believe me. You're insane." He said, with a crooked smirk, a taunting smirk, "You created an entire fantasy world, entirely in your head, your 'team mates', your 'job at NCIS', your 'boyfriend Tony', they are all in your head - none of it was real." He paused at caught her eye, "When will you accept the fact you made an entire world up, when will you realize it was all in your head?"  
_

_"You are lying! I'm not insane, It was real! It is real!" She cried. She was adamant it was real, her world was real, wasn't it? She was sure it was. She could remember the sound of Abby's voice and the taste of Tony's lips. She could remember the feel the cotton sheet on Tony's bed and the sound of the elevator as it reached its destination. She remember every little detail; it couldn't all be in her head, could it? These people, the team, they couldn't all be in her head, could they?  
_

_"I've told you before, and I'll tell you again - you're insane." That was when she struck his jaw._

"I believe you, I know she is dangerous, but maybe just for a minute?" The doctor said.

"No." Eli said firmly, "She's to stay in those straps until she is..." He trailed off.

"Is what? Sane?" He scoffed, with an underlying tone that said, 'that'll never happen.'

"Yes, that exactly." With that, both her father and doctor left the room.

When she heard the door click shut, she opened her eyes and sighed painfully, 'until she is sane!' she scoffed at he idea, 'I am sane, aren't I?" She asked herself. But if she was sane, why was she strapped to the bed in a mental institution?

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**A/N: Yes, I know it was short, next chapter will be longer & more informative!**

**Drop me a review & let me know what you think (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow! Thanks for the reviews, was not expecting that! :')**

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_It was dark and rainy when Ziva knocked on Tony's door. He frowned when he opened he door to find a dripping wet Ziva. Her hair was a frizzy mess, her eyeliner had run and her wet clothes clung to her for dear life, but yet Tony still found her flawlessly beautiful. Tony snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss, tangling his hands in her messy hair, they both smiled into the kiss. Tony tasted like chocolate and strawberries. "Come on." He said softly, "Let's get you dried up."_

Ziva cringed at the painfully .. memory, it was a memory,right? A nurse walked into her small, confined room, "How are you, Ziva?" She greeted her.

"I'd be better if I wasn't trapped in this hell." She spat bitterly.

"Now, Ziva, we've told you before - it's for your own good." Ziva just rolled her eyes, "Can I get you anything?"

"Actually yes - strawberry covered chocolates." Ziva said with a small smile, it was the first time she had smiled in this hell hole.

The nurse frowned at her strange request, "I'll see what I can do... Now here, take your medication."

"No." Ziva said shortly.

"Ziva. You know you have to."

"No. They don't help, they make everything worse. I see things, I see people when I take them."

"You always see people, see things, these pills will help you stop."

"You're lying." She hissed, "They are what make me go _insane_." She narrowed her eyes on the Nurse, "Or is that why you make me take them? You want me to be insane, don't you?"

"Stop being ridiculous." She snapped.

"Am I? Maybe I am just discovering your dirty little secret!"

"There is no, _dirty little secret."_

_"_There is! I know it! Your story about my 'insanity' has it flaws." When Ziva saw the nurse's face of shock that she had covered up in a second, she smirked to her self - a break through, "I remember the time I was at Tony's apartment and accidently cut myself on nail sticking out of the wall, I have the scar to prove it." She said, pointing to the scar on her arm.

"Stop reliving old hallucinations, Ziva, it's not healthy."

"They are not hallucinations! I know what is real and what is not, I am not insane."

"Ziva - You've been insane for years, since your brother Ari was killed in that suicide bombing, remember?"

"Ari did not die in a suicide bombing!"

"Then how did he die?" She said, arching an eyebrow. _She is good, but not as good as me_, Ziva thought, _I know exactly what she's doing and I won't fall for her interrogation trick and mind games. _Ziva said nothing, "That's what I thought."

Ziva glared at her, how much longer could she take of being subdued to this, how much more could she take?

"Now, Ziva? When will you realize what you have become? You were doing much better before you fell into your coma, and since you've waken up, you've had regressed."

"I was never in a coma! I remember how it went that day! It was a normal day..." She trailed off.

_Ziva giggled as Tony flicked the switch of the elevator off and pushed her up against he wall, capturing her lips, "Not at work." She laughed, flicking the switch back on._

_He huffed, "You say that every time."_

_Ziva rolled her eyes, "I will go home and pack an over night bag, I'll be at your apartment in about half an hour." She told him with a smile, as she walked out of the elevator. She never did make it to Tony's house that night._

___"_I have only been here for a few weeks - since you drugged me! The team will find me and when they do, you better watch out."

"As you said, it's been weeks, where are they?" The nurse challenged, "Why can't you just accept the fact that 'the team' was all in your head, that they are not real?"

Ziva thrust angrily in her bed, "Shut up! Just shut up!" She shrieked, perhaps if she wasn't already insane, she should be by the time she left this place.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun set lazily over the bust streets of Israel. The chatter and the bustling died down and people retreated to their homes. Ziva shifted uncomfortably under her sheets as she tried to free herself from the straps that kept her bound in her own personal hell. The nurse had just made her take her meds, she put up a fight like always, but it didn't help. She hated the medication, no one would believe her when she said they brought on the hallucinations. She sighed, they were starting again, and this time it was Tony, it was rarely not Tony. She sighed as she closed her eyes, she knew it wasn't real - this Tony in her room, but she couldn't help be drawn to him. She opened her eyes, he was standing next to her bed, she couldn't even reach out for him.

"Help me." She whispered desperately, on the odd chance her hallucination would free her, "Please?"

"It's not real, Ziva. I'm not really here. I'm back at DC." He told her.

"I know, I know, why have you not rescued me yet?" She asked, a mixture of accusation and pleading underlying her voice.

"We are trying, we can't find you."

"Well, now you know, I am here, go back to DC and tell Gibbs!"

"Ziva, I'm not really here, remember?"

She cursed at herself, "I know."

"I have to go not, but remember - don't loose hope, we are looking for you, we will find you. Us, your life, it's all real."

"Then why are they telling me it's not? Why am I having these hallucination?"

"I don't know," He sighed, "I have to go now, I love you." And with that he was gone.

"I love you, too." Ziva whispered into the empty room.

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Ziva woke to an empty room, and a knot in the bottom of her stomach - a feeling of sickness that never seemed to go. Like every time she woke, she thrust at he straps but they never seemed to loosen. She hated them with a passion... She also hated the drip that fed her, it had been so long since she'd had feel food, she'd almost forgotten what it tasted like. She hated it all, hated the fact she hadn't had proper human contact in so long, hated the fact drugs were forced down her reluctant throat, sometimes they were forced through her reluctant veins in her arms. She hated the feeling of emptiness, she hated the feeling of forced insanity.

She hated it all.

She hated all the small things, too, like not being able to relieve he itch on her nose, the way the room smelt of stale dust, the brown stained walls and the picture of the old watering watering can that hung up in a boring brown frame.

She lost count of the time, she didn't have a window in her room, so days and nights seemed to blur together. Where was the team and why hadn't they found her yet? It's not like they were really in her head, right?


End file.
